


𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪

by AngstyTea



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, Emotional Hurt, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Men Crying, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25105504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngstyTea/pseuds/AngstyTea
Summary: 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪

**Author's Note:**

> Hi ! This is a short, one-part fic i decided to write because i enjoy making myself cry :) TRIGGER WARNING!! If you do not feel comfortable reading homophobic slurs than this fic is not for you, i do not want anyone to get triggered!!
> 
> Constructive Criticism is always welcome ~  
> Happy Reading <3

Tsukishima Kei. 

Rude, Insensitive and Unapproachable, his persona was one that tended to be avoided by most. i say 'most" because there's one foolish boy that follows the insufferable blonde around with the look of a lost puppy ever present in his eyes. It's quite interesting how, despite his cold and anti-social demeanor, The four-eyed Grinch doesn't seem to mind the presence of Yamaguchi Tadashi. Throughout the years, volleyball has been the source of their many joys and many sorrows. People have came and went, and the seasons have changed again and again, but Tadashi has always stayed beside Kei. When everyone resented him, he was there. He had the privilege of witnessing the exact moment his beloved Tsukki fell in love with the game of volleyball, and perhaps, the game of Life. He forced a smile when introduced to Kei's new girlfriends, only to soak his pillow the following night, and bit his tongue when asked how he felt by his concerned Senpais. Always smiling, Always hiding, Always standing behind the living saltshaker that is Tsukishima. What a pathetic life. Always in the background. Walking behind the person you care for the most, never beside, never in front. But Tadashi never saw it that way. He only thought of Kei: Has he eaten yet? Is he happy? Did he have a safe walk to school? Putting Kei before himself had been a lovely distraction for the ever-caring freckled boy.   
The sky was overcast, painting the city with a grey hue. The breeze was cold, biting the atmosphere and engulfing everything in it's path. the air was thick, with anticipation or fear? probably both. This day was praised by many and resented by few. Despite the bleak scenery, the scent of chocolate and anxiety was in the air.

Valentines Day. 

Our sweetheart Tadashi woke up a few minutes early that morning. His bath water was a bit warmer, and his uniform was freshly washed. A perfect start to the day, as one would see it. Tadashi thought nothing of it, but to the natural eye, something seemed off. As if it was a bit too perfect, As if it was the calm before the storm. Although the streets were calm, the green-haired boy was anything but so. He missed a button on his uniform when getting dressed earlier, but failed to notice, as he walked down the cracked sidewalk, mind swirling with none other than Kei. Today was in fact, a special day: The day he would finally confess to his childhood love. Reaching the point where the roadway split in two, a tuft of blonde hair was standing by the left sign, staring uncomfortably at his phone. Tadashi's face heated up slightly, as it did every morning when he met Kei in order to commute to school together. In his mind he thought that he hid his rosy cheeks well, but Kei always noticed. "We're going to be late if you keep walking at a snails pace", Kei gritted out with his usual attitude. Tadashi just smiled and said his usual line before jogging to catch up to the grumpy Kei that was now walking away. Today will be the day.   
The morning was filled with a collage of groans, tears, and heartfelt confessions. With every blushing girl he passed in the hallway,   
Tadashi seemed to grow more nervous for what was to come later in the day. Classes carried on as normal, and soon enough it was lunch. 

The lump in Tadashi's throat only seemed to grow as he gathered his things and headed to the lunch room to meet with Kei. However, the universe seemed to have alternate plans for the unfortunate boy. "Well, Well, Look what we have here". In that moment, Tadashi's body froze completly. His pupils dilated and his blood rushed to the surface as that horrific voice rang in his sensitive ears. His eyes searched frantically around the hallway in front of him, but to his despair, found no one. A sudden wave of pain and a small whimper emitted from the frail boy's body as he was thrusted into the nearest locker, failing to notice the pink envelope he once held now laying lifeless on the ceramic tile beneath him. "Look at me when i'm speaking to you, you fucking weirdo!". Tadashi was beyond startled to find the product of his demise two inches away from his face, features contorted into pure anger.  
Stringing him up by his collar was no other than Kageyama Tobio, the source of poor Tadashi's nightmares and paranoia ever since he joined the volleyball club. He never knew what he had done to the off-putting setter, but one thing he knew for sure was that the blueberry boy hated his entire existence. "Oi!", Kageyama shouted, snapping Tadashi out of his previous thoughts. "I know what you're planning to do, you sick freak!". At that moment, the soft beating heart of our hopeful Tadashi completely froze, and dropped into his stomach. His lips parted, as a look of utter terror clouded his already frightful eyes. "Tch, you thought no one would notice did you? The way you always follow him around, or stare at him at practice with that disgusting look on your face?. You think that Tsukishima would ever like a faggot like you?, you must be delusional! He's a GUY, it's so WRONG!".

If you were walking past, you probably could've witnessed the exact moment that Tadashi's heart broke into a thousand, pointy little pieces. 

Tears began to drip from his soft emerald eyes, and warm feeling began to spread throughout his body. Kageyama's shouting became distant noise as a ear-splitting ringing took it's place. a million Memories flashed before Tadashi's eyes: Tsukishima's small smile when he mastered his jump-float serve, the time that the two of them went to waffle house in their pajamas at 2am after a late-night study session, the feeling of Tsukki's hand on his shoulder when they lost against Sejoh. Kageyama only became more and more furious as he began repeatedly slamming Tadashi into the locker, over and over, harder and harder until he felt satisfied. Now laying against the cold tile, Tadashi realized the warm feeling that coursed him was not one of numbness or anger, but rather from blood that dripped down his temple. Coming back into reality, he finally let out all of the negative emotions that had built up from over the years with a heart-shattering scream. The insensitive remarks, the ugly slurs, the disappointing looks, the disgusting sighs, every bad experience filtered out into that scream. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨! 𝘐'𝘮 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘨𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨! 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘙𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵? Oh what an optimist he was. How much hope he once had.   
However, as his lungs constricted and his slender arms hoisted himself off of the dusty the floor, Our once bright boy had only one thought floating around in his mind. 

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵.

After waiting in the corner of the lunchroom for quite some time, Tsukishima found it odd that Tadashi hadn't came to greet him yet. With a deep sigh, he decided to search for him. He'd never admit it, but a bit of worry pooled in the depths of his stomach as he walked the halls attempting to find his ditsy companion. After walking around for about 10 minutes, Tsukishima gave up, ultimately deciding that he'd just ask Tadashi about his disappearance when they meet to walk home later on. Soon enough, the last class of the day rolled around and their was no sign of him anywhere. This slightly annoyed Tsukki, but he pushed the thought down as he began gathering his things. Right before he could stand up, an unfamiliar boy walked up to his desk. The boy gulped when he caught sight of Tsukki's glare, but continued on. "H-hey, um, i found this envelope in the hall. I don't know w-who left it but it seems to be addressed to y-you", the boy stammered out, dropping the letter onto Tsukki's desk before darting out of the classroom. The irritated beanpole gave his signature eye-roll, before curiosity pinged at his mind. After debating in his head, he decided to open to envelope "just encase it's important".   
His eyes widened slightly as he drank in the letter's contents: 

Hey Tsukki!   
Um, This is kind of awkward heh, I'm actually sweating right now.  
That was gross, never-mind that. But anyway, V  
volleyball practice is cancelled today so i was hoping we could do something instead!  
There's actually a new Dinosaur exhibit at the museum that just opened up,  
and i thought you might want to check it out?  
Oh! but first there are some, uh, important things i have to say  
I, well, I  
i'd rather say it in person, haha.  
Please wait for me on the park bench outside the gate, I'll meet you there   
once school lets out and i promise to tell you everything.   
\- xx Yamaguchi

Kei thought nothing of the letter, seeing as Tadashi is always a nervous wreck due to his anxiety. However, he found it peculiar that Tadashi had not came straight out and said what was bothering him sooner. Usually when he is in turmoil, he confides in Kei straight away since he hates feeling sad or conflicted about anything. The unsettling feeling from earlier creeped back up from the back of his find and he walked out of the classroom. Although his face was stoic as usual, his mind was filled with wonder and worry for his childhood friend. Students filtered out of the Entrance doors in swarms and into the gloomy day, some with smiles and some with frowns. some with envelopes of their own, some with empty hands and empty hearts. Kei was among them, although the once stoic expression he wore had turned into one of concern (although you'd only notice if you looked hard enough). His heart seemed to flip with each step he took toward the bench that Tadashi had mentioned in his letter. But why? Why did palms began sweating? Why the temperature seem to rise around him, despite the spring chill that ran throughout the air? An unfamiliar feeling sparked inside of the Isolated blonde as he sat on the creaky ivory bench. Deciding that this weird feeling was uncomfortable, Kei switched his focus onto the bench itself. The material was scratched and dented, some pieces were uneven and the whole thing looked as if it would snap at any given moment. But nonetheless, It held together. For some unknown reason, a smile unconscious made it's way onto Kei's face as he absorbed that last fact.   
He watched the sun as it lowered itself in the sky hour by hour, until the gloomy day gave way to a starless night. A pang of hurt tugged at Kei's heart as he decided that Tadashi wasn't going to show up. A disappointing look painted his face as the events of the afternoon sunk in even deeper.

***Timeskip***

The shrill sound of an alarm was absent this morning, as it was the weekend and their was no need to go into the office at the crack of dawn. The outside world, however, was still bustling with noise and movement. Tossing and Turning, Kei eventually sat up and rubbed his sleep filled eyes to greet the new day. Reaching for his glasses, he got out of bed and sluggishly made his way into the bathroom. His apartment was rather small, so getting around was no difficulty at all. After glancing at the prominent dark circles hanging underneath his blank eyes, he showered and threw on a warm coat and jeans. Deciding against breakfast, Kei grabbed the keys off the kitchen counter and threw on his boots before making his way out of the lonesome apartment. His grip on the steering wheel began to tighten as he pulled into the parking lot of the nearby flower shop. He made his way back into the car, Roses in hand, and drove to his desired destination, decreasing the speed the nearer he got. A deep sigh escaped his lips as he grabbed the roses and made his way out of the car, cheeks flushing from the rush of cold air against his pale skin. His head hung low, and the feeling of dread became more prominent as the gravel crunched beneath his feet. The sky was the same as it was 8 years ago, and ironically, so was the date. Kei's legs began to feel like jelly as his destination came into view. The once prominent sense of dread had morphed into complete anguish. Stopping directly before the slab of concrete that now held his childhood friend, the tears he held back were finally released. "It's Valentines Day, Tch, I never liked it honestly.", he choked out as he kneeled to put the roses beside the shining gravestone. Just then, a crack emerged between the clouds and a small ray of sunlight shone down on Tadashi's engravement. 

Kei had finally broke. 

After 8 years of deflection, of pretending, of denial that this was reality, Kei dropped to his hands and knees, and sobbed. His hot tears created a small pool on the marble as his arms never loosened from the headstone. "I waited for you, In the spot you said to wait," Kei croaked out between cries "On that shitty bench," A raspy cough erupted from the man, but he continued "I waited for hours! Hours!". After years of suppressing these feelings, they were now out in the open, lingering in the air...for no one to claim. Cold droplets began to fall, as if the sky too was weeping for the cruel trick that the Universe decided to play. 

"But, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦."


End file.
